If I’m being honest

Oh! how you feel alone, with the family, friends. With everyone really. The distance in the eyes, the experience. Misread emotions and there’s you, failing spectacularly again.

But then,

Go on, of your hatred. People, right?. Hanging-on to the littlest thing alike, tight, in desperation. You’d gladly live in the head. I know you would. At least it’s quiet at times.

;

Honey, I’m not a man. I’m barely a young boy. I was late to the party. Everyone knew this. You didn’t or may be didn’t care. Now a father, and a child. I want to blame you. See, that’s not something a man would do. Act of a child rather.

But then,

Of whatever I feel for that child,  a light midway a long cold tunnel. And with all your quirks, I love you more if that’s possible. You, and you alone willed her to life.

;

Give up. Refuse to play in this park of amusement. You’ve worked hard, honed your skills. Only to auction, let’s face it, your youth. And you’d get screwed 9 to 5. Again, and again. F*ck the next iPhone. Psychedelics and music, Let’s go there. Please, again.

But then,

We are not alike. None of us are. But that’s us. We make sense when we can, with what we have. Hustle porn may actually help you. And I could be wrong. I usually am.

You're not special

Life is indeed fragile. We are being brutally reminded of that fact by something that grows, mutates and spreads using our own bodies. But it doesn't necessarily take that much complexity to end a life. Things that could kill us probably range from somewhere around solar flares to an inconsiderately placed banana peel.  And yet we are hard wired to believe that each individual is somehow unique from the other and whatever tragedy befallen on a fellow human would probably never happen to us; Where in reality, odds are far greater than what we may want to admit. This defense mechanism is built into the brain to protect itself from its own intelligence and rationality. And when this protection is overwhelmed with cold hard facts, otherwise rational people resort to the supernatural. Seeking comfort of ignorance.

Many belief systems arise out of fear; Fear of the unknown, suffering and uncertainty of life. The existence of such beliefs or the urge to create new, is what makes us function as living and breathing units of nature. So in retrospect supernatural or otherwise beliefs that give purpose, hope and certainty may be an evolutionary counter weight to the rational part of the brain.

The human brain, even at its finest, although may not be alone, is completely incapable of an objective understanding of the universe. Because it cannot directly interact with anything without creating mental constructs to act as conceptual buffers. Many conflicts are merely inconsistencies between these constructs and the external factors themselves. So whatever fears lurking in the back of your head are there because you are afraid of the inevitable conflict. 

But the good news is before you were born, this subjective universe of yours didn't exist and without you it won't continue. So what you are really afraid of is the volatile nature of your mental constructs and the pain they produce midst of change.

And yet when you see the slightest hint of sickness or pain in your child, you'll probably kick your rational brain out the door and start praying to every god you can think of. So let's not be ashamed of our invisible tail and embrace the balance it brings to life.