Thursday, May 19, 2022

Radar Love

It’s little over an hour into the evening power cut. I’m staring at the road from my balcony. Just aimlessly looking for something worth looking at. Streets have gone darker by each night. There’s hardly any cars anymore. A lingering little shadow caught my eye. It’s one of the crows. 

Couple of ‘em comes every night and sits on the same spot. Right in the middle of a power line between a pole and our home. I’ve seen ‘em sit through heavy rain and cold nights, always turned to the same direction. There’s something there. There must be. But today, I see one.

Their act causes me pain. While my wife lights up every time, I see a tragedy, waiting to befall. Bonds are temporary. The joy when they last, is followed by an inevitable suffering. Payback, if you will. Looking at ‘em both cuddled in the night and seeing one ‘em waiting in uncertainty for the other one to return, makes my heart equally ache. 

The significant other truly is my counterpart. Our view of existence puts light years between us. I wonder where we started to drift apart. I’m sure it’s me. I had the worst habit of conforming my personality into something else when I’m with her; And to desperately be an idea she’d fall in love with, because I wanted her badly. But then, I’m sad and depressed. It’s my neutral state. I returned to being myself when the happy hormones left my system. I’m sure that killed the fireworks. I do love my wife. I’d sit through any storm for however long the night is. I did fake my way into her life but I’d be real as it gets; when she needs me to be. 

Other one is yet to return. Distant and uncertainty are their enemies. But mine is existential. I keep getting lost in this mediocre reality. But the show must go on. I owe this to her.

Wednesday, September 1, 2021

Euphoria #3 - When I'm Gone

End but a step now

Finally, here

Long I’ve toiled

Long it’d been

and I’d be gone

Stop! wait now

Said who but a snake

Yes. I, your mate

Shall whom I trail

now you’d be gone

Dearest snake now

Chase you did

but spoke hardly

Pity, we’ve missed

for you’d be gone

Let us go now

Your tail had severed

Far I’ve left

the pain, the need

Soon, you’d be gone


Sane, are you now?

Much to be had

Pain is my poison

Desire for more

Shame, you’d be gone

Run along now

Pain will wither

Teeth won’t get

where you are quicker

Foolish, you’d be gone

Still, I am now

No poison I fear

Run I did

Hasn’t got me here

So I’d be gone


Forgot I did now

This world, the reality

Mine all along

For I had birthed it

Now I’d be gone


And I’ll take you with me.